The Holiday Struggle for New Moms: How to Keep the Joy in Your First Holiday Season
Becoming a new mom is a joyous occasion, and there’s something magical about celebrating your baby’s first holiday. Whether it's lighting the Christmas tree or Menorah, taking adorable photos with Santa, baking cookies, or starting new traditions—these first moments are memories you’ll cherish forever.
However, what often catches new parents by surprise are the less-than-ideal aspects of the holiday season. The stress of family get-togethers, unhelpful comments, the chaos of juggling schedules, and the guilt of trying to balance new traditions with honoring the traditions of extended family can quickly turn the holiday dream into a nightmare.
But don’t worry—there are steps you can take to keep your holidays from feeling overwhelming and instead make them joyful, peaceful, and meaningful.
**Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries**
Did I mention boundaries?
The truth is, when you’re a new mom, the holiday season is a lot different than it was pre-baby. You might feel pressure from extended family to attend every event, participate in all the activities, and be there in the same capacity as before. The reality is that traveling, large family gatherings, and keeping up with a busy holiday schedule aren’t as easy when you have a baby in tow.
It’s okay to say no.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or just need a break, it’s perfectly fine to skip a family function or leave early. Maybe the environment isn’t one you enjoy, or maybe it’s too much of a hassle to make it to every event. Your mental health and your baby’s well-being should be your priority.
Setting boundaries early—especially if you’re still recovering from childbirth—sets the tone for your holiday seasons going forward. It’s better to establish that you can’t attend every event now than to burn out trying to please everyone. Yes, people may be disappointed, but you have the right to protect your peace. Over time, they’ll understand.
Remember, boundaries are hard—especially when we worry about what others might think. But you aren’t in control of how others feel, and they aren’t in control of you. Sure, Aunt Susie might be upset when you politely decline an invitation, but her feelings will pass. And as you set those boundaries, you’re reclaiming control over your time and energy. Way to go!
**Handling Unsolicited Advice**
Every new mom has experienced this: the well-meaning but unsolicited advice from family members. Whether it's Aunt Susie telling you how to feed your baby or Uncle Bob offering his thoughts on your parenting style, it can feel like everyone has an opinion on what you're doing.
Here’s the thing: You don’t have to listen to it.
You can politely thank Aunt Susie for her advice, but make it clear that you prefer to do things your way. If she continues to push, it’s okay to walk away from the conversation. Criticisms are not facts, and you don’t need to engage in a discussion that makes you uncomfortable.
You can simply say, “I choose not to engage in this conversation,” and remove yourself from the situation. This sets a firm but respectful boundary, signaling that you won’t tolerate disrespect or unsolicited advice. Aunt Susie might not like it, but she will likely think twice before offering her opinions next time. And if she doesn't respect your boundaries? Well, it’s okay to reassess your relationship with her.
**Finding Balance**
As a new mom, it’s easy to feel like you have to do everything yourself. Between caring for your baby, maintaining your home, and trying to be the perfect host for family gatherings, the pressure to do it all can be overwhelming.
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to do it all.
It’s perfectly fine to ask for help, and in fact, it’s essential for your well-being. Your loved ones care about you and want to support you. They’re not just there for the baby—they’re there for YOU. So, don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need it.
Ask for help with cooking, setting up, or even just holding the baby while you take a breather. If they can’t help because of other commitments, don’t take it personally. Just remember that asking for help doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. And it’s okay to prioritize your own mental health and self-care during this busy season.
**Be Present**
The holidays are supposed to be about celebrating, connecting, and enjoying time with loved ones. But with everything else on your plate, it’s easy to get distracted by to-do lists, expectations, and stress.
Make a conscious effort to be present—both for yourself and your baby. Take a moment to breathe, enjoy the little moments, and savor the joy of being together with your new family. Your baby will only be this little for a short time, and these early holiday memories are the ones you’ll treasure forever.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself and your family. The holidays don’t have to be perfect, and that’s okay. What matters most is the love and joy that you share together.
**Final Thoughts**
The first holiday season with your new baby can be both wonderful and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be a source of stress. By setting boundaries, asking for help, handling unsolicited advice with grace, and being present in the moment, you can create a holiday experience that’s fulfilling and meaningful—without all the unnecessary pressure.
Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Happy holidays!
Written with the assistance of AI
