A Crash Course in Understanding Executive Functioning Skills

You may have heard about executive functioning skills or dysfunctions but may not understand what they are or if you are functioning well. I am here to help you understand all this in the most basic and supportive way that I can and better ways to support yourself or your children at home to improve their executive functioning skills or learn to cope with them.

So what exactly are executive functioning skills? Executive functioning skills are internal skills that we have to help us accomplish our daily responsibilities and achieve our long term goals. These skills are:

-Planning

-Organization

-Task initiation

-Time management

-Attention

-Metacognition

-Working memory

-Self-control

-Flexibility

-Perseverance

Most people have some skills that they are stronger in than others. For example, I am great at time management skills but not always flexible in my thinking. Also, there are some tasks that I can initiate much better than others and requires some more internal dialogue with the harder tasks. For me, folding laundry is a task I struggle with initiating so I need to really have a good internal dialogue on laundry day but I am much better at wiping counters and vacuuming. When someone does not have good mastery in certain executive functioning skills, it is called Executive Dysfunctions. Too many Executive Dysfunctions or a mismatch of dysfunctions to those around you can cause conflicts at home, work, or school. These are common sources of disagreements between kids and parents or even partners.

It is common to have multiple Executive Dysfunctions with some diagnoses such as ADHD, Autism, learning delays, cognitive delays, trauma experiences, or even anxiety and depression. However, people can still experience executive dysfunctions yet not have a formal diagnosis.

Why Executive Functioning Skills Matter
Executive functioning skills are essential for navigating life’s challenges. They help us stay organized, meet deadlines, and make decisions, which are all crucial to achieving personal and professional success. Think about it: when you sit down to work or take care of your home, you're constantly juggling multiple tasks, thinking ahead, and adjusting your plans as needed. If any of these skills are weak or underdeveloped, it can feel like you're working against yourself instead of with yourself.

For children, executive functioning skills play a vital role in their ability to succeed in school, interact with peers, and manage their emotions. As they grow, they need to develop these skills to become more independent and resilient. However, for children who struggle with executive dysfunctions, these skills may not come naturally, which is where parents and caregivers can play a significant role in supporting them.

Signs of Executive Dysfunction
Recognizing executive dysfunctions can be tricky because they often manifest differently from person to person. Common signs include:

• Difficulty starting tasks or procrastinating, especially when the task feels overwhelming.

• Disorganization, such as losing items frequently or having trouble keeping track of schedules.

• Trouble managing time, like consistently running late or underestimating how long tasks will take.

• Challenges with working memory, such as forgetting instructions or needing reminders to complete a task.

• Impulsivity, or acting without thinking through consequences.

• Emotional dysregulation, where emotions can become overwhelming and hard to manage.

If you notice these patterns in yourself or in your child, it might indicate the need to work on building specific executive functioning skills.

Strategies to Strengthen Executive Functioning Skills
The good news is that executive functioning skills can be developed and strengthened over time! Here are some practical strategies to support you or your child:

1. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps
   Large tasks can feel daunting, but breaking them into smaller, manageable steps can make them less intimidating. For example, instead of saying, "Clean the whole house," break it down: "Pick up the living room," then "Vacuum the floors," and so on. This helps improve task initiation and reduces procrastination.

2. Use Visual Aids and Reminders
   Visual schedules, checklists, or even timers can make it easier to stay on track. For kids, you might try creating a visual "to-do" chart that breaks their day into clear tasks. For adults, a simple planner or digital app can serve as reminders to stay organized and manage time effectively.

3. Set Realistic and Achievable Goals
   If you're trying to build skills like time management or planning, set small, achievable goals that you can celebrate once completed. For example, instead of trying to “be on time every day,” aim for “leaving 10 minutes earlier for work this week” and work your way up. This builds confidence and reinforces positive habits.

4. Create Routines
   Routines help establish predictability and reduce cognitive load. Establishing a consistent morning routine or nightly ritual can help kids and adults alike build positive habits that support executive functioning. For example, make a habit of setting out clothes the night before or using a consistent bedtime routine to improve sleep and readiness for the day ahead.

5. Teach Self-Regulation Techniques
   For kids, teaching coping skills like deep breathing, mindfulness, or positive self-talk can be a game-changer in helping them manage impulsivity, frustration, and anxiety. For adults, these techniques can help improve emotional control and decision-making, especially when faced with stressful situations.

6. Model and Practice Flexibility
   Flexibility doesn’t come easily for everyone, and it can be particularly challenging for those with executive dysfunctions. Practicing flexibility can be as simple as showing your child (or yourself) how to change plans when things don’t go as expected. Start with low-stakes scenarios, like adjusting plans if something goes wrong during the day, and gradually work toward bigger challenges.

7. Encourage Perseverance and Resilience
   Building perseverance takes time. Praise efforts, not just outcomes. If a child (or you) is struggling with a task, remind them of times they’ve overcome challenges before. Encourage a “growth mindset,” where mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than failures.

How to Support Yourself or Others
If you're parenting a child with executive functioning challenges, or if you're an adult struggling with these skills yourself, it's important to approach it with patience and compassion. Building these skills is a gradual process, and setbacks are normal. Here are a few tips for providing the best support:

• Be patient: Everyone’s brain works differently, and it can take time to see improvement in executive functioning skills.

• Seek professional support: If executive dysfunction is impacting daily life, consider working with a therapist, coach, or tutor who specializes in executive functioning. They can provide targeted strategies and interventions.

• Foster a supportive environment: Whether at home, work, or school, creating an environment that minimizes distractions, provides structure, and promotes self-regulation is crucial.

Final Thoughts
Executive functioning skills are foundational to our success and well-being. Whether you’re helping a child navigate these challenges or learning to cope with them yourself, there are plenty of ways to build and improve these skills. By practicing strategies like planning, organizing, and self-regulation, you can foster more independence, confidence, and success in everyday life. Remember, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about making progress and finding strategies that work for you or your child.

If you’re unsure where to start or need additional resources, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. Together, you can work toward stronger executive functioning and greater resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

-Written with AI help.